Project Phantom: Ch.3: Destiny (Pt.2)

You know in a perfectly-healthy human’s life, we get to do a lot of things, our capabilities as a fully formed, whole human beings, having all functions working properly, it is really hard to say that we cannot do this or we cannot do that, there’s always a way to do something. If at any point we physically could not do a physical task, we would use our other power of what makes us human, which is our brain. Brains allow us to come up with a solution to any given problem. It would enable us to build something from scratch that could do what we physically can’t, which also counts as part of our ability. After all, we have built machines to serve all kinds of purposes, from the tiniest to the largest, from the most purely digital to the most mechanical, and the more problems we face the more machine we build to make our lives easier and more convenient. But you ask yourself .. to what extent? How far will we go?

Looking back at my life, I never used my body much, never really worked my brain hard enough. So maybe .. I did not deserve to be human? Maybe someone could’ve achieved way more having my healthy body and full functioning brain.  I don’t suffer from anything, I should’ve been at least good at school, right?. But instead I wasn’t .. I was so caught up on living a virtual life, enjoying my virtual abilities and superpowers, dreaming about them, fantasizing about them, hoping they become a reality, coming o think about it, I guess I’ve used my brain for something after all. In the reality, looking at the big picture, I had nothing but empty hopes and unachievable false dreams. And to the people around me, I was nothing but a bad omen …………… I knew I was destined for misery.

I did not deserve this, I did not deserve to live this life, I did not deserve to be human, I did not think of how to make my life a better place, I can’t blame anyone else but me. Me, I did this to myself, I drove myself to my own doom, I destined myself to misery, I was sentencing myself to death every single day of my life without even realizing, it could have been better, it could have been so much better, I could’ve done more, people go through a lot, but they still survive, why couldn’t I, what was I thinking, what is my destiny, what was I made for, what am I here for, I must exist for a reason, what is my purpose, what is my reason, where is my faith, do I believe in something? Do I have anything to hold on to? Was I .. there? Was I there? .. was I there when I was born? Was I there when I spoke my first word? Was I there when I started going to school? Was I ever there for myself? … I see it now, I have failed myself all these years, and I’m only realizing this now.

Its weird to think that, what was once your body, isn’t anymore. The power you had, the abilities you overlooked, the things you could’ve achieved ... it’s too damn late. 

I walked into that townhouse willingly, and I never made it out. That third room, was a simple test for all participants ... except for me it wasn’t. I was targeted, they had a different plan for me .. what’s so special about me? That’ll remain a mystery. I was staring at the screen, that was flashing bright colors, and images all so rapidly, and I was naming what I recognize from the pictures that appear on the screen between all the different colors, lights and patterns that randomly roll between the pictures, whether it was an animal, a famous celebrity or an inanimate object I was naming them all ... after a few images passed and I was really doing great, suddenly … I saw myself on that screen .. I saw myself on that screen staring at the same screen I was staring at in that room, I got goosebumps, that picture threw me off a little bit, I thought it might have been a glitch of some sort. But I got back on track and kept going, and yet again, I saw myself on the screen, but I looked different this time around, I mean at that point my eyes were all watery and were starting to burn so I thought maybe it might have been my vision getting all fucked up .. but .. I did not look normal, I looked oddly drained in that image, and my skin looked as if it was .. dripping off of me? “am I hallucinating? What kind of test is this? Could it be a sick joke?”  I thought to myself. I paused as I was slightly shivering due to what I saw, the images kept rolling but I couldn’t talk .. “wa- was that a joke, guys? was that a- was that a sick joke?” I said in a loud voice alone in a dark room, hoping they heard me .. I mean they must have, they have this room all set up with cameras and microphones, right? “am I still doing this study? how long have I been here?” was all what was going through my head at that moment, hoping, I repeat my question in a louder voice “is this a joke? Someone please reply I don’t like this feeling ..” it was an utter silence .. absolutely no sound .. the kind of silence that makes your ears start ringing, “my heart is beating so loud, I can hardly breathe”, I was getting cluster phobic, “am I having a panic attack?” I just sat there did not know what to do .. the screen is still on, and the images are still rolling .. different images of me kept appearing in the most horrific ways.. I couldn’t keep looking at the screen .. and- “wait- I hear someone walking around outside!” I screamed with all my might “SOMEONE PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR I DON’T WANT TO CONTINUE THIS STUDY ANYMORE, THIS IS SICK, YOU GUYS ARE SICK!” …….. no response.

It was dark, silent, I was panicking, shivering, and sweating, it’s getting cold, I was in tears, the screen is still rolling and it’s getting faster by the second, I closed my eyes, “I hear the ringing, I hear the whistling, and now I hear screaming, what is happening?, somebody help me please” I said I was tired of crying my heart out ... the screen went black .. the door opened, I fell on my back in relief, blacked-out.

They killed me. I was murdered. my brain was strong enough to withstand the visual trauma I went through- so it seemed-, based on their calculations I was supposed to be unconscious for this coming part, but I wasn’t. I was taken out of the room, relocated into a lab, my eyes were closed, I couldn’t move at all, but I could hear everything ... I was there .. for the first time ever in my entire life I was there for myself, when it was too late, making up for all the past years, I was there when I wasn’t supposed to be, I was there despite all the obstacles, I was conscious, I stayed conscious, even though I was supposed to be dead. There were about 3 people in the room, one of them was Jessica, I recognized her voice, they laid me down on a counter, strapped me, and they started gutting me. Yes, I was getting cut piece by piece, I could feel every damn slit on my skin, I felt like a helpless animal, “why am I awake, why wasn’t I dead? This is way more torturous than anyone could ever imagine, and I thought the visual torture was the worst”. The moment they pulled out a knife I could hear it, stabbed me right, burst through my skin, in the middle of my chest, dragged it all the way down to my belly button, and pulled my skin open, they started with my inner organs, taking each and every organ before it dies out. They were planning on selling my parts in pieces. They carried on with the cutting, slicing, slitting, stabbing, bone breaking, skinning, just the most brutal, vicious, and inhumane death anyone could ever go through. I felt it all , and I remember every single thing, I remember every single pain, I remember all of it. “Is this my destiny?”