Name is Solomon, I’m under 20 years old, and full of energy.”
-Shit, that probably won’t work.
“Dear Jessica,
I hope this email finds you well.
I’m Solomon. I am a student in the college of engineering, I am ready to partake in your project, if you want me to, whenever suits you, I am free, except I have classes, I will attach-”
-Gee, I gotta get it right, one last time.
“Dear Jessica,
I hope this e-mail finds you well,
My name is Solomon, I am 18 years old, freshmen student, in the college of engineering. I am perfectly healthy, and up to new experiences.
I am writing you this email as a response to your offer of participation in the video game project/study. As a person who has never been into playing video games, I should be a perfect fit for the study, as required.
Please consider my participation, it would be an interesting experience for me as a person, as well as it will add value to my grades, since it is listed as an extra credit in my media class that I am taking.
I will attach my weekly class schedule, let me know if we can arrange a time that is suitable.
Best Regards,
Solomon.”
-That was about the last time I was able to type things out, or do anything ever, physically. I’m so vaguely lost, I wonder what happened to me. I currently lie somewhere, I am not sure -in the slightest bit- where exactly, nor am I able to tell what’s left of me. The only thing I can tell you is this; I am paralyzed. I can hear the words I am speaking, but not in the actual hearing sense .. it is nothing I can explain, it is nothing my mind can comprehend. My mind .. I remember something about my mind .. something about my brain. I remember someone telling me this will be the first time ever, any human goes through this type of experiment. Experiment .. I thin-
Person: “It’s regaining conscious, quick.”
-What happened to me? Where did things go wrong? Where am I? I can hear myself, that is for sure, but I do not think it is my mouth that is talking, nor do I think it is my ears that are hearing. I’m unable to have any sort of control over my body, it must be a really bad nightmare. It is dark in a way I never thought would be possible. My current state is nothing but unholy. I can’t sort things out, at least to the best of my knowledge. Am I frightened? I must be! but then again why am I not?
Person: “It’s happening again, I need help over here ..”
-I can’t scream for help, I’m suffocating. I- I might as well not be in my own body, I can’t feel a damn thing. I think I am paralyzed. I cannot move, nor can I see, feel, or hear, except this sound of me talking. I am familiar with this .. this is not strange .. this is the voice in my head talking .. I’ve been here before, except .. I don’t think it is. What is this voice? Where is it coming from? What’s causing me to hear it? Am I still alive? .. Am I still myself? I seem to be lost in thoughts, or are they even really my thoughts?
Person: “We’re not done yet, why does this keep happening”
.
.
.
.
.
-Hello, I remember my name, I’m Solomon, I am Sol- I sen- I-, How can I stop this from happening? This is an illusion, it must be! There should be a way out of it. Where was I? I need to breakout of this void, anyone can hear me? I’m in need of help, I don’t want to be alone in this, get me out. I’m calling a quit. I know what happened, I know what I signed up for, I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore. I- I feel trapped. I’m seeking a way out, do as you promised, get me out.
Person: “If this happens again just unplug it, we got no time”
-I have always wanted a way out of my own body, now I’m ever so stuck, without any window out. I seem to only have got myself to talk to, and hear. This isolation is taking a toll on me. I never thought I would be trapped in my own being, in what I always have hated. All my senses seem to have gone, all my physical abilities seem to be confined. I forgot what it’s like to be human. I might as well be a goddamn machine. I can’t think of what got me here, what led me up to this point in my life. I must remember .. I must help myself out of here. I must know what got me here. I mus-
Person: “It’s almost complete.”
-I can see my life flashing before my eyes, every moment I have ever lived, every person I have ever met, all my happy moments, and all my sad ones, it is almost like I am reliving each moment with a purpose of setting them off. That type of pressure I can’t handle in a state of utter disorientation. This whole death trip is about to shatter me into pieces. Is this what it’s like to reach the final destination in this life? I might have always wondered about this moment, now it’s finally here, and I don’t have a control over it. It’s happening. As all of what makes me a human is failing me, I got nothing but to let go. I am shutting down. This is all happening too fast, and I am losing grip. I gotta know how my life ended, before I undergo eternal demise, I need to see how my life ended .. what got me here .. I must stay alive for those last moments of-
Person: “Unplug it.”
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